oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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