This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
It's just like the Real World with babies
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize