9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
