I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize