So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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