Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
