Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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