I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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