She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
