Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
