What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
