Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
