the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
