I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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