just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
