Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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