I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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