I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
