you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she smelled like a LAN party
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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