I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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