Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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