So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
