can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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