Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
