Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
