I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
