People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
