He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
