dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
