In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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