I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize