i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
