Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
