Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
