oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
wow bdsm is so cute
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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