did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
