its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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