His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
no you cant smoke seaweed
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
