just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize