If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
