He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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