I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
we're making bets on your personal life
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
