I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
