Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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