Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Don't tell me you're on acid again
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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