11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
