Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
