What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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