Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
