I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I want you more than these girls want KFC
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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