i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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