You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Come see our sink grown plant.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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