youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
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