hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
