I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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