I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
