come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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