if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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