I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just found puke in my bra..
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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