well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
