OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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