FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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