OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
